Welcome to Sat K’s Monthly,
a satirical slant on our silly society.
Sat K’s Monthly is meant for a mature audience. Mature excludes anyone who believes that the “experts” at the so-called Think Tanks are objective scientists when they are actually “paid spin-doctors”. I’m just saying.
Where Are We Coming From
For security reasons, we move around alot.
Sat K’s Monthly could be coming from virtually anywhere in the world or anywhere in the virtual world.
Like this episode may be coming from the streets of a large Canadian city.
We could be coming from Canada’s largest city. Here, visible minorities are treated to a hands-on approach to policing. Certain officers will make sure that you feel noticed. They’ll also help you to keep track of your belongings by asking you to empty your pockets right there on the street. And, if you can’t remember your name, all you have to do is ask one of these officers. They will have a card with your name on it somewhere in their records.
And you don’t have to be doing anything to receive such service. In fact most people aren’t doing anything when these officers stop them.
Actually we could be coming from any major Canadian city as we take advantage of their free camping offers. If you get tired or have no place else to go, you can just lie down on the sidewalk and have a nap. Nobody will stop you. They’ll just step over you and be on their way. Some people camp out like this for days, weeks, months, even years. They just take their place as one of our invisible minorities.
You’ll also find that prostitution is legal on the streets of Canada. However, asking for or offering it isn’t legal, even if you are Canadian polite and say please! What you have to do instead is wrap a twenty-dollar bill around a cup of hot Tim Horton’s coffee. Then walk up to a hooker and tell her you’ll give her the coffee and your mittens if is she will give you a hand!
We May have the product for you!
And say, are you one of those people who just don’t want to hear the other side of political arguments?
Well we may have the product for you. It’s our high-tech, state of the art, top quality yet affordable “STFU Audio Content Changer”.
Just attach STFU to your TV, radio or computer device. Next, set the playback to whichever of our pre-packaged political speeches that you prefer. Then anytime the news comes on or someone starts talking politics, whatever they are saying will be replaced by ideas that you like to hear.
Don’t take chances. Other people’s opinions will just lead you astray.
Buy STFU today and we will send you absolutely free one of our personalized “Buy-a-judge” Constitution Interpretation audio books. Just like in real life, you can find a judge to interpret the constitution anyway you see fit.
STFU and the “Buy-a-judge” audio book, guns and bullets sold separately.
This month’s “Could have been News!”:
Citizens of all political stripes were overjoyed today when the legislative assemblies unanimously passed an omnibus bill requiring balanced reporting on the issues, the end of attack ads during political campaigns, proportional representation to make sure that all voices are heard, limits on individual and special interest group campaign funding, and respect for the individual and collective rights of all … As if!
Call to Action – Supporting Sat Ks Cause of the Month
This month’s support opportunity for you loyal Satirical K followers arises from the continuing surge in religious intolerance.
We believe that peaceful dialogue doesn’t work. Answering violence with violence doesn’t work. Starting alternative faiths or hybrid faiths doesn’t work.
Our buttons work!
Yes, we have the button for you!
And what do our buttons say? They say “Sorry, but all of you are wrong!”
Yes, Sat K says if you can’t beat them, piss them off to no end!
Send for a package of “Sorry, but all of you are wrong!” buttons today. Then start giving them out at Mosques, Synagogues, Temples, Churches, Assembly Halls, Bingo Halls, anywhere committed religious folks are known to congregate (but not the Salvation Army, they actually do some good!)
Just send us 10 percent of all your current and future earnings. Then go out and get irritating.
This Month’s Comic Strip
So that’s it for this issue of Sat K’s Monthly, just one part of The Possible Ks family.