Welcome to Sat K’s Monthly,

a satirical slant on our silly society.

Sat K’s Monthly is meant for a mature audience. That excludes anyone who believes that curbing female sexuality will cure male insecurity. I’m just saying.

Where Are We Coming From

For security reasons, we move around alot.

Sat K’s Monthly could be coming from virtually anywhere in the world or anywhere in the virtual world.

Like this episode may be coming from Alma’s Day Care Centre where their motto is “The Kids will survive.”

This week, Alma’s is offering a free bottle of wine for the first 15 parents who show up on time at the end of the day.

Alma’s Day Care Centre, conveniently located next to the Childhood Trauma Rehabilitation Centre.

We May have the product for you!

Say, are you a nice person? You know hard-working, honest, reasonable, polite? You are probably pretty easy to ignore.

Well, we may for the product for you.

It’s called Squeaky Wheel.

Squeaky Wheel is a high-tech, state of the art, top quality yet affordable voice change device.

Just place Squeaky Wheel into your mouth and the next time you speak, you’ll sound like a god-awful shrieking harpy.

Now you can finally get what the natural whiners get.

What do you want? – Tax cuts, recreation programs for your kids, better service from the health care system, front row seats at concerts, better hotel rooms – it’s the Squeaky Wheel that gets the grease!

And the deluxe package comes with a selection of the 10 top outrageous things to say that will get you your way.

Squeaky Wheel – the ideal choice for emergency waiting rooms, government agencies, political meetings and family gatherings!

The News as We Want to See It

Highlighting this month’s could have been news, a series of bombings have rocked our world.

It seems that weapons manufacturers launched a number of their new Intelligent Smart Drone Missiles. These unmanned bringers of destruction will kill people while leaving the buildings standing. They have been programmed with Artificial Intelligence to make decisions about best targets in given situations.

Once launched the bombs changed directions.

One bomb took out an oil executive’s wife in the Middle East. She was guilty of taking her maid’s passport, forcing the maid to work as a virtual slave. A second bomb killed a number of male tourists headed for Thailand looking to have sex with young children. Another ended the existence of an accountant responsible for providing western financing to third world death squads. And yet another paid an unannounced visit to the Head Office of the International Monetary Fund. Here it had so many targets that it became confused and blew itself up.

A military spokesperson issued the following comment: Ooops!

Call to Action – Supporting Sat Ks Cause of the Month

As you may know, we here at the Possible Ks are heavily into environmental causes. Recycling is big on our list of must-dos.

And we are not afraid to make a little coin out of the cause.

We have watched as other charities have collected pop can tabs and cigarette foil for recycling.

Well, here’s what you can do for us.

Send us the foil wrappers from your condoms.

That way we are not only recycling, we are contributing to sexual health.

So each time you open up a condom, set the foil aside. Once you have at least one pound of wrappers, send it along to us care of your local health unit.

And remember, that’s the wrapper, not the used condoms themselves. Ewww.

This Month’s Feature Post

You know, we here in the “West”, we are great believers in Democracy.

We love Democracy. We think that this is the best way to live for everybody.

In fact, we are so serious about democracy that we are going around the world killing people living in undemocratic countries.

Heck, we even kill people in democratic countries if they aren’t doing democracy the way we want them to.

Now, it was the Greek Philosopher Plato who over 2000 years ago gave us the plan for democracy.

Plato spent a great deal of his life thinking about the concept of Democracy and debating it with others, and really working to get it right.

Unfortunately he’s dead. In modern terms, that means his account has been terminated.

He has no email address, Twitter or Facebook account. If he were alive, you probably would have found him here on WordPress.

So you can’t email him or tweet him or otherwise access him on social media.

You could try hashtag Plato and see what you get. But it won’t actually be him.

However, I wonder if he was somehow brought back to life, and allowed some time to study what’s gone on over the past two millennia, what would he say about how we have handled his ideas.

I think that interview might go something like this:

Interviewer:

Well, what do you think?

Plato:

My reactions are best summed up in a common American English expression.

Interviewer:

And what is that expression?

Plato:

It’s “Are you effing kidding me?”

Anywhere in my writings, do you find the word “Proktos?

Interviewer:

Proktos?

Plato:

It’s the Greek word for “a**hole” which represents the kind of person people seem to elect to really important positions.

In fact, you seem to elect these people because they are a**holes.

They say stupid stuff and they do stupid stuff. And they are embarrassing to humanity, let alone democracy.

And you don’t just elect them once. No, after they make a mess of things, you re-elect them.

It’s like you don’t want to admit to yourself you made a mistake.

Then, once they are replaced by some other a**hole, you deny having voted for them in the first place

Interviewer:

Well, people would say that these representatives are just saying what people think but don’t say.

Plato:

There is a reason people don’t say these things. It’s because these things are ignorant and stupid.

Interviewer:

But these representatives get elected because they will take on the powerful political establishment. They get elected to fight for the little guy.

Plato:

Sure they’ll fight … and bully and insult and shout other people down.

Why? Because that’s all they have to offer.

Because somebody else has always been around to clean up their mess.

Because they haven’t got a clue.

Because … they are a**holes.

Interviewer:

So what should people do?

Plato:

Oh, geez, I don’t know, it seems so complicated, where would I begin. Let me think for a moment.

Oh, I know.

Stop voting for a**holes.

So that’s it for this issue of Sat K’s Monthly, just one part of The Possible Ks family.

A posting from Kevin McGill’s The Possible Ks

Canadian Satire, Poetry, Social Justice Commentary & Inspiration

Creative Commons Copyright – Share. Just give me credit for my work, don’t make a profit from my work, and don’t change the content.